→ there's just a few things I think that you should know

[studmuffin]

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[studmuffin]

[ AN ACTUAL WHINE. ]

No.

[lupusalpha]

Why not?

[studmuffin]

Because I'm dying here.

[lupusalpha]

[He doesn't reply. This is actually kind of entertaining]

[studmuffin]

[ Thwacking him in the chest. ]

You are perfectly sculptured and the things I would do to and/or with you are probably illegal. [ Eyebrow wriggle - he wouldn't push this if it genuinely upset Derek. ] What's one more law?

[lupusalpha]

Probably illegal?

What were you thinking, of making a snuff film?

[studmuffin]

No.

[ Stiles' hand stays on his chest, his eyes thoughtful. ] Just, you're really hot.

[lupusalpha]

Yeah, you keep saying that.

[studmuffin]

It's true. I've given myself sprain thinking about you.

[ TMI? Je ne regrette rien. ]

[lupusalpha]

You masturbate while thinking about me.

[studmuffin]

[ He grins and it's stupid and ridiculous. ]

You're the cause of my frustration.

[lupusalpha]

[He just rolls his eyes]

Great.

[studmuffin]

Maybe a little self-love would cheer you up, buddy.

[lupusalpha]

I take care of myself well enough.

[studmuffin]

[ Well now he's thinking about that. ]

[lupusalpha]

I can practically hear the blood rushing south.

[studmuffin]

Shut up.

[ The tips of his ears are burning. ]

[lupusalpha]

You brought this on yourself.

[studmuffin]

I regret everything.

[ He ends up sprawled backwards, looking up at the top of the cave. ] So if you were Batman this would totally be your comfort blanket.

[lupusalpha]

I prefer the deep woods.

[studmuffin]

Wolfman was a shitty film.

[lupusalpha]

I'm sorry, what?

[studmuffin]

It was! You'd be wolfman in the forest.

[lupusalpha]

I could stand up and leave you here.

[studmuffin]

Then I will become Nightwing.